"So, you're not going to carry your own babies?"
/Yep. I've felt judged by other women when I share that the goal of our IVF journey is to have our children via surrogate. When faced with it, I've found myself nervously rattling off all the reasons why we need to do it this way when people say how "nice" it must be to take the "easy way out" and avoid birth or, conversely, who comment about how "difficult" it must be to think about another woman being the one to carry my children and how I must feel "so, like, out-of-control!".
My husband, being the wonderful human that he is, typically interrupts me and just says: "it's just our way, for lots of reasons that are pretty personal, and we're excited about it." But he knows much I'm bothered by the judgment and commentary and questions about how I'm using my body, and how this intersects with others' ideas of motherhood and femininity.
Once we're actually pregnant, I'm not sure how much I'll continue to share until that journey is behind us -- mostly because I don't know how thick my skin will be in the midst of the experience. But either way, I'm committed to being open and honest about the fact that I *am* going to experience pregnancy only via surrogate, and I refuse to feel ashamed or like less of a woman because of it. Because for me, "pro-choice," includes the whole spectrum of women making consensual decisions about how and what they want to do with their bodies.
Also, PS: The realities of a domestic surrogacy in the US through a reputable agency are nothing like what's depicted by click-bait articles or TV shows.
